Watch it.

Your gesture, your attitude, your words, your action. Watch it all. Sometimes you think, 'Screw everyone, this is who I am. Who are they to judge'. Its true, but, everywhere you go, people are judging you.

Everyday, everywhere, everyone people are judged. People judge us and we judge people. Its only natural for people to judge others. When walking down a street, you see someone who you thought was weird from what they're wearing, you just judged someone. And you don't even know them. Which proves you don't need a license to judge.

You know what the worse part is? When you judge someone you know. 

A few days ago, while I was at the library, I saw this group of friends studying. Out of those several people in the group, there's this one person I can't take my eyes of. Don't get me wrong, it not that she was dressed weirdly, its that she was being treated like an outcast. She was sitting together with them, and everyone socialize with each other but totally ignored her like she wasn't even there. I can only think of two reason for the way they're acting, either they fought or group judging. 

The same thing had happened to me once, but that's what make me who I am today. I'm actually quite thankful for it.

That is why you should watch yourself. If you think its worth changing for other, then do it. If you don't then find others who would appreciate you more.

I am currently in the middle of judging a person that I see everyday. It's tiring. The cause, words. Forgive me for this, but she needs to shut up now. She never, ever watch her words. I know that she just said it as a joke, but seriously, she needs to be more careful about what she said. If you think something's funny, doesn't mean the whole world think its funny. When I say something, she always argue. It's like she must win with every word that came out of her mouth. Even when she argues with another person I feel like screaming "SHUT UP ALREADY!"
That is why, I don't talk to her anymore. Well I tend to avoid it/her. Forgive me dear, but, you're not the only person who matters in the world.

And another thing, judging is not gossiping. Gossip spreads like wildfire, judging stays with you if you wish it and turns into another thing when you tell it. 

Sarcasm much?

What is sarcasm? Well this is what I got from Concise Oxford Dictionary.

Sarcasm 

•  n. the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

 My opinion on sarcasm? I don't like it. Period. Some people may use on occasional term to tease someone. Well, I tend to avoid it. I may sometimes, unconsciously, give sarcastic remarks on something or someone, but usually when I realize my mistake, I would immediately apologize and say it was a joke and pat them in the back.

Sarcastic comments tend to hurt people. Even if you laugh at the wrong situation, it will give the sarcasm effect. And to be honest, when I get emotional I too just blurted out the first thing in my mind.

Especially to these who always use hurtful remarks on me.

I must say, even though I may look stone on the outside, I do get hurt by words. It's just I'm not the type to show them. If you think sarcasm might help you bond with someone, well think again.

For me, I tend to avoid those who make sarcastic comment as a habit. It's not good for me if I just keep letting myself get hurt by words.

So, here's some advice.

• Think before you talk.

• Whatever you think is funny, is not funny to everyone.

• And stop being selfish with your words.

It's free advice. Take it or leave it. Till then

Au revoir

First impressions are overrated

That's what I think anyway.

First impression can come in a few ways:
1) When you first see a person for the first time.
2) What you heard about a person. whether you know them or not.
3) When you think you know a person after a few hour @ day.

Me, I don't like to give a first impression on a person I only met for the first time. So, whenever people asks me what I think about them when I first saw them, I would just say "You seem okay".
The truth is, when I first met someone, I usually don't remember them too well. Not their name, nor their face. I may, sometimes remember you after a long time of what you were wearing, or holding or doing when I first saw you. That is only, if I ever become close to you.

There is this girl in my campus. I'm close to her now. We've been friends since our first semester here. After a year and a half of being friends, I suddenly remember, during orientation week, there was this girl sitting next to me carrying the same bag my friend did. That's when it came to me "Oh, it was her then".

Then, there is the chain of first impression.
A friend of yours met someone. A new 'friend'. Then, when your friend came back, they will tell you everything of that person. Whether its love, hate, annoyed, blank or stupid and the list goes on and on. That's your friend first impression on he/she. But listening to their story, you'll feel like you already know he/she and you felt the same way as your friend. Your friend first impression was chained down to you.
It's like the feeling of hatred you felt when a friend told you about someone the loath. Without knowing who that person really is, you felt the same way as your friend, minus the real experience.
That's how the chain works.

I really don't like it when someone bad mouth a person they just knew.
You come back from wherever you were and you just bad mouth someone who, for a few hours, you think is lame, weird and a loser. Its not that I never bad mouth someone. Its just that I don't bad mouth them immediately after I came back from that first meeting. Its just rude. Even a whole year wouldn't be enough for me to really get to know someone.

This is why I'm super careful when choosing friend. By just listening at how they talk to you after some time of knowing each other, you can easily know.
If they came home and bad mouth a friend of him/her, how can I be sure he/her didn't do the same thing to me before?

Anyway, this is just an opinion from my point of view. You may have your own.

Don't bash me for wanting to voice out my own. 

Don't judge a book randomly

So, that's basically my way if saying Don't judge a book by its cover or its content. Looks may be deceiving. A person's heart is even more so. Some people may look great to our eyes. But to other people, they could already see flaws at first sight. Go to a book store and browse the fiction section. Then a book caught your eyes and it practically screams "Come on pick me up. I look interesting to read". Flip it through and some would say "Oh my God, this book is damn funny", and others, "This book is a joke".
        And the next thing you know, flaws will starts to form and "Oh my God" change to "This is a joke. What was I thinking?" We'll this case may only apply to certain kind of people like of those who hates chick flick book and bought a chick flick book.

Once upon a time, you met a person. At first sight you thought "She's okay".

Then one day, things change. She just suddenly became the coolest person you know. Everything that came out of her mouth just wows you. She mixes with 'the' crowd, she got the brain and everywhere she go, she'll be noticed.

But, after seeing so many great things about a person, you'll bound to wonder, "Isn't there anything she lacks?". Well, the trick is to never questioned. Because I questioned, it smack me right in the face.

Then, all those great things you used to see in her just vanished. Now, all the things that came out of her mouth just spells BULLSHIT to me. 'The' crowd she mix with? Well, that's just the ticket to the life she's having now.

Now now, I know what you're thinking. That's harsh. But, different people just see things differently. And you want to know what actually smacks me in the face? One of her act. It doesn't just smack me in the face by surprise, it almost got me into one hell of a trouble.

Moral of the story? Well for me it would be,

Never trust a person until you fully understands each other and has gone through thick and thin together. Cause that's what build a good relationship, for FRIENDS or LOVERS. 

Let's be friends :)

For as long as I've lived, I know that I don't befriend someone easily. And I literally don't have a so called 'first impression' towards anyone. If anyone asks, I'll say "Nampak macam okay".

Half a year, I'll be able to talk comfortably with the person. A year will make me able to trust the person to be around me often. More than that, I'll never forget that person face. I may forgot their name, but not their face. More than 5 year, I'll never forgot neither their name or their face.

Yes, apparently this is something I can actually say while I'm still . . . young.

Most of the first impression people have on me?

I look arrogant. Fierce. Unfriendly.

I definitely agree with all of the above. Unless you talk to me, you'll never know how I really am. So please do talk to me. Although I must warn you it'll be an awkward conversation at first, but if you're someone who is bubbly and talkative, I will be glad for your company.

There's this other thing. My stare. Sometimes I'll look at a person for one second, then turn back the other way like a snob. I actually do this quite often. Especially towards guy. I don't know why, I just do.

But,

if you ever, ever somehow make me grew a dislike feeling towards you, then I'm sorry but I'll hate you until you say sorry. I actually hate this one guy so so much just because he didn't say sorry after he pushed my hand when it was in the air while I was trying to put on my backpack.

Now, I feel full of loathe whenever I see his face.

Yes. I am vengeful person.

Sorry makes all the difference.

To a person like me

2011

Sup peeps.

So, I'm back at my college. Yay? Oh, well. I guess it's a good time to be starting class after a month and a half of not doing anything but eating and sleeping and gaining weight. Its 8.09am and I'll have class at 3pm later. I'm a little blurred about what am I to do right now. So, update. This blog was totally dust. Its like someone died in this or something and it's a little weird that bb Teah wasn't complaining. I guess she just got tired of telling me my blog was all dusty.LOL. Sorry babe. Something happened to my brain.

Since its only the first week, I'm pretty sure a lot of class will be canceled. Until then, I guess I'll be rolling on bed and of course, movie marathon. Whooop!

I have nothing more to say.

Until I have a damn good life ahead.

Goodbye LOVE.

écraser, l'amour, la haine

It's study week and I'll be home until Wednesday. I cant be staying here for too long cause I need to study. As I had tagged my bbs in my status, I've been feeling lazy and down as finals approaching. But thanks to my housemates, who study like a maniac, all I have to do is just crash their room with loads of books, and automatically my books will scatter all around their bed as theirs' on their table.

Many sorry to my bbs for not keeping up as much with them as possible. Sorry :(

Well,
life has been hectic. I just finished with my last test last night. Sunday night. Awesome.

As my favourite quote says

"In the end, you'll realize you only have few true friends. But that's better than having many random friends"

but I don't have many random friends. But I always know I have my true friends with me. No matter where they are. Always.

I've been tense this pass few weeks. The fact that I'm studying in a deep forest never left me. Even now.

Even thou I'm the kind of person who mostly stays indoor when I'm home, at least I have the feeling that things are happening around me. At my hostel, we have a great view of the nature. But everything felt static. Dead.

Thus, I've been walking around the campus, going up the great hill of Beting. But still, it gave very little effect on me.

I don't know what else to do to make the feelings go away. I feel like my emotion is at an unstable condition.

I NEED HELP

I need extra social skill

I really mean it. My social skill is limited to,

"What's your name?"

"Which block?"

"What course?" -_-

Yes, lame. I am.

I've been expecting that from the very beginning. That's why I always describe myself as someone who always keep to myself and a good listener. I mostly always listens, and say a little. To those who knows me, would probably be familiar with the 'me', who'll sit in a corner doing her own thing, or, sit around the group lol-ing my ass off.

But, now that I'm in a new place, I find it hard to get used to the surroundings, even though I liked it, especially the socializing part. Finding a clique is a zero chance. It's not high school, so finding a clique is out of the question. Finding real friends, yeah, I'm still working on it. Not to say that the friends I already have now are not my real friends, its just that, its still early adding to the fact that I still don't know how their personality is like and everything.

Still, I already spots the ones who neglect me or look down on me or doesn't even want to look at me. I just hoped you'll change your way of looking at me one day. The way I do things doesn't always reflect who I am on the inside :)

Right now I totally envy Fatiehah Zaini bb. Since you're all sooo charming and got just the right amount of social skill and get along with everyone just fine. I know you have problems making friends at first too. But I'm guessing that at teast you got talking.

Remind me again your first impression towards me,

You : *bump*

Me : *glare*

You : 'Aphal minah ni?'

Precious!!! :) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

ALL OF YOU ♥

Random. Lets go!

Lets see,

Oh! I just realize that I'm going to Uni in a week after my sister asks me when I'm going. I had to count by finger and got shock by it myself. Then, on the spot, I made a list of thing to bring and the list goes on on. List some for me if your're reading. Now, I just have to tell mommy that 'we' should go shopping this Saturday cause I have to go for my facial on Sunday. Huh. So many things to do. So little time.

So the boss asks me when will it be my last day working. To be honest, it never even occurred to me. So I was thinking, next Thursday will be just perfect :)

And I'm thinking about working out again. Lose some kilos. Seriously, even my mom said I look 'bigger'. Specifically the bum area. Tsk tsk tsk. Do you know how bad that is??? Damn! Need to work harder *fist* What happen to green tea project? Oh, I stopped long ago. I just cant take that bitter thing going down my throat. I admit. It actually work its magic cause every time, I will be sweating and felling hot. I even felt a little dizzy and sleepy which means I was getting detox. But the taste really tortured my taste bud. I was never a big fan of tea or coffee anyway.

So, I guess I'll just stick to the traditional method of exercising and water. Hope I can get myself straight for this one.

That's the end form me. Random post.

Now, I wanna hear what you guys have been up to lately???? Post up something. I wanna hear how life has been treating you all!!!

Love ♥

Unsettled hands.... ♥

Day by day. . .

Yes, day by day, my life passed by and every night before I closed my eyes, i would rethink everything I did. If I fast forward it and skip the times I spent on the floor with my cat, everything is less than 10 minutes.

Conclusion,

Nothing happen. What a sad truth.

I know, at least I have a job. You wanna know a secret? A few days after I've been confirmed, I don't feel like going. Then everyday that I have to work, I would look at the clock, "It's 3, 3 more hours before work". Always counting down. Some times I would take a nap in the evening cause I know I'll be tiring and unintentionally wake up at 5.30 and be rushing to shower and everything.

While as in the morning, I'd have to wake up like everyone else and get ready and starts walking for 8.30.

But this morning, I didn't wake up like everyone else and I overslept. Thank God Hairul texted me asking if I'm coming (cause he wants his coffee prince). When I looked at the phone it was 8.30++. I was late. Very late. I rushed everything I did. Showering, scrambling eggs, getting dressed, walking and finally arrived around 9.30 with an awkward smile on my face. But still, better late than never.

But then again. day by day, everything passed by like a feather. Ever so slowly and in the end, there really ain't nothing to learn from it. Well except for the fact you should not waste your time like me.

Do something useful, something informational, something worth your time to waste.

p/s : I can cook spaghetti now. The canned sauce at least. Weee~~~~~

Being offensive

There's a thing about being offensive. It's rude, insulting and it hurt people's feeling.

Well,

that's exactly what I've become. To certain people at least. My current lifestyle kind of affect what I become. Sometimes I got annoyed very easily by peoples word. And because of this annoyance, I'd say that some people got hurt by my word. Like what happened recently, one person actually complaint this and that about me. Usually, I would just keep quite and ignore, but I was unusually out of the mood, so I said something offensive which I knew slap the person right on the face. Twice in a row actually. Right after, the person said something else about what I was doing.

But really, when you got what you just got from me, do you still want to talk to me? But this time, the person answered back saying "Such arrogance", so I went, "I always am". Only then the person decided to keep quite.

One thing I learnt from it,

being offensive is not always bad. You might find it useful someday. Like I always tell my bbs, "Don't be too nice to people, they might stab you in the back".

That's what I practiced everyday. Not to be too nice to people. Even thou I'm not that nice to people, people still brag and talk trash about me. Imagine what happen I was very nice towards them.

But don't always act offensive all the time though, people tend to avoid these kind of people with such strong words coming out of their mouth. Especially girls.

Think before you say anything. Just to be safe, think twice before you say anything. Some people are just too sensitive and get hurt a lot easier by words than acts.

I DON'T Have a Boy.

Yes, sorry to pop your bubble. I don't have a boy. So, what the hell was that in the previous post. Well, thats life. You might find something that you think might like, but turns out, its just a little confusion messing with your head. Thats's what it is. The truth is, those thoughts was just idiocy, complication and immaturity. I am aware that I am happier being single at the moment. I'm not ready for any kind of relationship that needed my loyalty, commitment and attention. I need those things to share with the more important people around me and myself. I know if I got involve again, its just gonna fall apart like it always did. Right now, I'm just going to focus to the ones I love around me. To be honest, I was never ready for a relationship. So, I would want to apologize to those whose been hurt by my action. I know there are people thats pissed off, hurt and angry of my previous action. I've been selfish when it comes to it cause I don't know how to care for other people feeling except when it comes to friends. So if anything, family and friends comes first.

There you go everyone. The answer has been reveal. Though, I don't like this entry much. There's not much I can say in here.

What life have to offer

Actually I don't really know. I'm just going with the flow of my life. So what did happened lately? I passed for my drivers license and got on the list of 'The person to be consider for transport for the next outing'. I also got matrix at Malacca just like most of my classmates. But I didn't gave an answer to the offer yet. I'm gonna wait for UPU results to come out and then take my pick. What else??? Oh yeah. I watched DEAR JOHN!!!!!!! Yeay! Awesome! I'm finishing up my story (I hope). I'm also having thought about my current thoughts about my relationship with someone. I'll post about that later. And I've discovered mountains of great quotes by great people. I've also been sleeping late and waking up incredibly late as well. I really have to stop that. It gives me headache and heats. Oh, by the way, my pc came back to life, so, I lost everything on hard drive C but I still have everything else, my music, movies and s***s. what a relief. But my Photoshop software is gone. Sobs sobs.

Guess what. I gain weight. A LOT! I'm telling you. One fine morning, I woke up and just felt like weighting myself after a long time. I never really like to weight myself cause I know then I'll be too self conscious about my weight. But usually my weight would never go up a certain number. But that morning, the number shocked me. My reaction : "*Gasp* Oh s**t! This is not happening." So I told my sister and her reaction : "Your going down a dangerous path sister. Jom beli teh hijau". That night, we went to Tesco with out parents and got green tea. On the same night, we watched Dear John with a warm green tea. -_-" Its bitter but I bear with it. Its only been two night I had green tea. So thats the story of my dangerous weight.

My sister wants to go the movie. With me of course. But we don't know whats good right now. She got two free tickets and we might go this weekend(?). She even asked me when we can get my license. Obviously she's dying to make me drive. Haha. I'm not entirely excited about getting my license. Cause I know that I'll have to drive around here and there when people tell me to. I prefer to stay home.

So basically, my life is a zero fill with dust. Thank you for reading.

Come back next time.... *Wave*

Once ~

Its too bad though cause I know that you guys will yawn watching this. Once. Its love and music. Ireland as the setting and its simple and realistic and not overly done like any other movie. In a glimpse, it may look like a low budget movies, but I'm very satisfied with it. The songs are beautiful. Its definitely my kind of song.

Here a short synopsis from the movie :


An (unnamed) Guy is a Dublin guitarist/singer-songwriter who makes a living by fixing vacuum cleaners in his Dad's Hoover repair shop by day, and singing and playing for money on the Dublin streets by night. An (unnamed) Girl is a Czech who plays piano when she gets a chance, and does odd jobs by day and takes care of her mom and her daughter by night. Guy meets Girl, and they get to know each other as the Girl helps the Guy to put together a demo disc that he can take to London in hope of landing a music contract. During the same several day period, the Guy and the Girl work through their past loves, and reveal their budding love for one another, through their songs.

*Both guy and girl is really unnamed. But no matter, I didn't even realize they have no name until the credit*

My favourite song in this would be If You Want Me and Falling Slowly.
It's not the kind of movie you could find anywhere randomly. It's very original and fresh. Not the cliche love story we always saw these days. The storyline is unpredictable. (Except maybe for the end) It really relaxes you, you won't have to jump around to conclusion after conclusion, guessing this and that.

I would recommend this to everyone. And I mean everyone. Doesn't even matter if I knew you would hate it.

Overall, this movie is not EMPTY. . .

Huh....

Salam and hello blogger. Lets see, last I update my blog is . . . February 18. Owh, making it a month. So. . . lets see. What is there to talk about? Even thou I'm not going to school anymore, I'm still as busy and bored as hell. Everything is planned out for me. All I need to do is to follow it. Kelantan, English course, license. What's next? I'll just have to wait. I rarely step out of the house. If there's no need for me to do so, I will avoid it as much as possible. I didn't know being unemployed would be so boring. But at the same time, I don't think I want to be working right now. I'm such an undecided person. So, in a nutshell, you're unemployed and boring. So what did you do at home? Lets list it down :

1) Movies. Of course. Lovely Bones, 500 Days of Summer, A Walk to Remember (never got tired of it) Korean drama (Currently watching You're Beautiful. Cliche, but still watching). I'm still googling for gore.

2) Cleaning up the house. I know right. Me? Cleaning? Yeah right. I'm not doing a very good job at it. I'm 17 and I still need training. Tsk tsk tsk.

3) Internet surfing. Of course. It's the only way to connect with my peeps. For those of you who texted me and received a very very late reply, it's because everyday after I finished showering and everything, I never remember to bring my phone downstairs with me. So, sorry in advance.

ANTICIPATING : Remember Me, Eclipse.

It's crawling to an ENd.

You know what I'm talking about. I have two subjects left. A total of five papers to answer. Chemistry and Tassawur. How was the other? Please don't ask. It's not me to make the past haunt me. It still haunt me even thou I don't think about it. Just sitting and doing nothing makes me think about my answers in the past. On the first day of exam, my dad made me promise not to discuss the answers afterward. I'm not the type that like to discuss anyway. Cause then I would worry about the past when I still have to think about the future. I would feel stupid if I knew I answered it wrongly. I know, everyone make mistakes but I'm just an average girl with an unusually high hopes and dream. Every morning when I go to school for exam, my mother would pat my back saying "Kuatkan semangat", and would just smile and left the car.
I always tell myself not to give up. I read somewhere that human have three chances in life to success. But you should grab it the first time and never let it go. You just don't know when the other two will come around. They might not come around at all. You just never know. We'll just see what happens in the future.

What's wrong and What are you?

So, it's exam month. Three weeks is kinda almost a month. Of course I've been studying. But I have a problem that starts even before the exam. I'm not sleeping right. Like right now, its 2a.m and I'm not sleeping. I can't sleep at night. But then, I'll sleep after dawn till like 11a.m something. It's almost like I belong somewhere else, so I'm sleeping using their time. I still sleep very late even thou it's school night. Then I would feel sleepy while doing the exam. It's absurd. Why can't I sleep normally. I always felt tired nowadays. It's not like I did anything. Hana said I'm a little over worried about the exam. But I think it's something else going on in my head. But what is it?


Do you guys remember the last post(Its below this post), when I said that I don't talk at all at home. I only talk when there's things to say. Then, just recently I think, I know why. I'M A SELFISH BITCH. You have to admit it. It's true. I shocked my self. But when think it over, it is very true. I have another thing to admit. But I'll jst put it in my next post. Till then..

How do you Live your Life

I got the idea for this post when Teah ask me, "Una, ko tak cakap ke kat rumah?". My answer "Tak. Aku buat hal sendiri je. Kalau ade benda nak cakap, ak ckp la". I think if someone were to change life with me, a few a hour later they would come running to me saying my life is 'dead'. I'm the kind of person who doesn't talk much. I like to shut my mouth and I'm happy with my life and everyone in it. But not always. You know how sometimes you just don't want to deal with friends. Well I get that all the time. Especially now when I'm dealing with exam stress. So sometimes when they ask me something I would just answer them but very lazily. Sometimes when I don't feel like talking I would just keep quiet and be by myself. Even at home, I don't talk to my mom about my friends or anything. I think my family is used to it even my sisters they always talk by themselves because I am so lazy that I never answer anything they ask me sometimes. So friends, if you see me with my scary face, don't talk to me please. There's also one more thing, I'm kinda bad tempered. The bad tempered rarely comes, but when it does, I would be like 'Shut the f**k up'. I don't even care if I lose on something when I'm having those feeling, just go away I don't want to talk to you. It is really unavoidable. I think when a person first saw me; they would probably think I’m an arrogant and scary person. But once you get to know me, I’m not scary at all. But when I’m not talking, ignore me because there must be something wrong with me then.

Searching for more books.

First Narnia. Now I'm on the look for a Japanese book called Battle Royale by Koushun Takami. I've watch half of the movie and my first respond is "Wow. I gotta find the book". Awesomeness. I've download it. If you want to watch it online. Here's the link. Just in case you don't have a very strong stomach watch a few part first. Here the book cover.

And here is the trailer for you. Enjoy!

Clique. Friends. Affiliates.

Clique, friends, affiliates. What’s the difference? Each one of these words has very different meaning. Clique is like a group of people with the same interest. Friends are the people who are always with you through the good times or bad. Affiliates on the other hand are a gather of same kind of people. Which one of these is the better type of gather? Well for me, of course its friends. When you are in a clique, you would get boring doing the same thing as everyone else. Affiliate for example is the popular. The popular don’t really have any friend. When you’re popular, the only thing that is important is yourself. When one of the affiliates got in some kind of trouble or problem, the other would be like, “Thank god it’s not me.” I’m not saying all the popular are like that, but some are. And another thing about the popular is when you’re on top, you take one wrong step, in a blink, you’re in the bottom and I don’t think any of your affiliate wants to go down there to save you. But true friends are always with you no matter what. Either your cat died or your dad is acting weird, they would probably say “I bet its nothing, don’t think about it” or they will probably sat and listens to your unending babbling. Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying something that would make someone even more hurt. So that’s what I think. What about you?